Merry-Go-Round
Well, I got what I wished for–more time, but that gift came wrapped with a strand of thoughts. The combination of deleting Instagram and moving to New Jersey quickly eliminated my personal “void fillers.” The distractions of the social media platform, maintaining a social life, and managing daily tasks prevented me from listening to my internal voice. Most people agree self-reflection is beneficial, yet I feel like I’m on a merry-go-round. The thoughts, sitting stiffly on the carousel, spin until I’m so nauseated I forcibly stop the ride. And the ride won’t stop until the questions find a resolution, so please any insight into the following would help me get off this ride.
Thought Ride #1: Is it possible for all, if not most aspects of your life to reflect your core values? I am pressure testing whether I can actually achieve this feat in a nation that values work and stimulating the economy above the health and well-being of people. Despite the experiment of remote work, an overwhelming majority (76%) of managers prefer for their team to return to the office on a full-time basis. The temporary move to New Jersey didn’t come easy; I was required to go through a stringent process and if I wasn’t a decent worker I doubt I would’ve been granted this “benefit.” While I received a temporary pass, I’m expected to return to DC by April. It’s frustrating accepting this reality. The way my life is structured today is fulfilling and I feel aligned to one of my top values–family. I’m faced with a dilemma: How do I make my temporary ideal permanent and quickly? Is asking for more flexibility while producing the same amount of high quality work too much to ask for early in my career? Do I simply need to wait, play the long game and accept that my employer ultimately has the upper-hand in this scenario?
Thought Ride #2: In achieving your dreams rejection is expected but at what point do you take ‘rejection as redirection?’ For over a year, in the pursuit of advancing my career, I’ve applied to and interviewed for jobs I only dreamed about but received consistent rejections. Some of the rejections were laughable, I was even rejected from a job I was initially poached for! Now, those wiser than me in an effort to adjust my perspective pointed toward patience. Practicing patience frustrates me; I view it as a barrier getting in the way of my plans and I doubt its use as a virtue. In an effort to really get to know what patience is really about I dug into the research. Studies on patience counter my perspective; being a patient person can improve your relationships, mental endurance, and overall happiness. When practiced, it can also help you achieve your goals by teaching you to stay diligent with the task at hand and accept your losses as preparation for your next opportunity. However, in Nipsey Hussle’s words, “How long until opportunity meets preparation?”
